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TITLE: OVER THE BARRICADES         READER: R. Vance

AUTHORS: Mike Teitelbaum
         H. Schneider              LOCALE: Los Angeles 

FORM: Screenplay/105               BUDGET: Medium

FACT/FICTION: Fiction              CIRCA: Present

GENRE: Theatrical action drama

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LOG LINE:

An honest accountant becomes a fall guy for serious charges when his mentor's company is caught employing illegal aliens and an agent is killed in a raid.

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COMMENTS SUMMARY:

This is a well-paced and nicely structured story pivoting on loyalty -- in this case to the wrong person for the wrong reasons with the resultant dramatic consequences and then finally, to the right people for the right reasons. The characters are warm and identifiable. The dialog is well-done and is often extremely effective, especially in some good family scenes. The dramatic core here is sound, good-hearted and compelling. The settings are economically written -- although minimally described, they do become vivid.

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                         EXCELLENT   GOOD  FAIR  POOR

PREMISE                       X

STORYLINE                        X

CHARACTERIZATION              X

DIALOGUE                        X

STRUCTURE                          X

SETTING                           X

OVERALL WRITING ABILITY       X

PROJECT RECOMMENDATION:         MARKET FOR STUDIO PRODUCTION

WRITER RECOMMENDATION:          SOLICIT OTHER SCRIPTS

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SYNOPSIS:

At the Vale Shoe Company in East Los Angeles, EMERSON VALE, mid sixties and cigar smoker, tells PAUL SZABO, CPA, early forties, that "after you take over Miller & Miller, you'll be a big shot." Paul then tells a bemused Emerson that he'll pick him up at seven-thirty to watch Paul's portrayal of Judas in an "Easter pageant." It is revealed later that Emerson has been Paul's mentor since Paul was delivering newspapers. As Paul walks out through the factory yard he passes the Hispanic work force who congregate during a break. He notices RUDY VALENTINE and BEN CASTILLO, apparent roach coach fry cooks, who seem to be paying undue attention to the workers. After Paul drives out of the parking lot, Rudy and Ben are revealed as INS agents as they rush the workers firing their guns in the air. Police cars, official vehicles and news vans converge on the factory, and uniformed INS agents with police dogs herd the workers together to check their papers. Those without green cards are handcuffed and shoved into the cars. JOSE ALVAREZ, with mustache, tries to climb out over the fence, but Ben pulls him down. Rudy kicks the prostrate Jose until Paul stops his car, runs over and tells him to stop. Rudy tells him to "fuck off" and gets the support of OFFICER WALKER and the uncommonly handsome TONY WHITE, of the U.S. Department of Justice. Paul suggests that the nearby reporters might be interested in knowing about the beating. Tony gives Rudy a short reprimand for beating up a prisoner so near the newsmen, but assures Paul that no one saw anything. Paul threatens to sue over the beating, but Tony tries to intimidate Paul regarding his client company's use of undocumented labor. Office Walker hustles Paul away and obliquely threatens Paul's family as reporter VICKIE LIN appears and asks Tony if the factory was shut down.

At the Szabo home in the Hollywood Hills, on the TV replay, Tony White tells Vickie Lin he's cracking down on factories which employ illegals. Vickie dismisses it as "business as usual." CAROL SZABO, Paul's wife, challenges Paul for not asking Emerson if he hired illegals because he wants Emerson to finance the Miller & Miller buyout. Paul denies knowing about the illegals and says that if Emerson doesn't co-sign the loan, Paul will lose everything.

ALFREDO GOMEZ and FEDERICO NAVARRO harbor a group of illegal aliens in a shack at a dimly illuminated desert auto junkyard. They also have "a slew of cigar boxes held together by twine"

and guns. An unmarked truck pulls up, and out slides Emerson. As Emerson hands Alfredo money, Government vehicles close in from all sides. Alfredo exchanges fire with the agents. An agent is killed and a stray bullet explodes a gasoline tank. As Emerson scoops up some of the cigar boxes and sprints to his truck, the fire spreads to the shack. The aliens scream as the flames engulf the shack. Vickie Lin, Tony, Rudy and Ben drive up. Tony rushes through the flames into the shack.

Paul Szabo, at home, watches Vickie Lin's news report of Tony's heroic rescue of 23 Mexican nationals. Vickie tells Tony his men's shooting may have started the fire, and he denies it. She goads him that he acts as if "the ends justify the means" and he retorts "...within the law."

The next day, Paul arrives at his CPA firm to see a man in a gray suit wheeling cartons of documents out of his office. Crusty office manager MAGGIE COURTNEY tells him there's a search warrant for Vale Shoe's accounting records. As Ben Castillo supervises the search, Paul and Tony talk. Tony tells Paul that Emerson has been using smuggled illegal aliens in his factory, and that they are indicting him for smuggling and tax evasion. Tony also tells Paul that if he doesn't testify against Emerson, he'll be indicted for conspiracy. Paul tells him that he knows nothing and that Tony is crazy. Tony proceeds to arrest Paul.

As Carol and JESSIE SZABO, age 7, watch Vickie Lin's news broadcast, Vickie announces that six accountants have been arrested in a sweep and Jessie sees that one of them is Paul. Carol bails him out, but Paul tells her he's going to remain loyal to Emerson. She warns him that with Emerson's troubles Emerson won't sign the note anyway. Paul and Emerson meet. Emerson explains how the "moral turpitude" clause in the Miller firm buy contract got Paul off the hook, so Paul won't need the loan after all. Paul says his lawyer is advising him to cop a plea. Otherwise he'll also be charged in the death of the agent at the junkyard. Then Paul tells Emerson he's going to remain loyal, but between the bail, the lawyer's fees and his loss of clients from the bad publicity, he needs several hundred thousand dollars. Emerson gives him a few thousand.

In court, Tony announces a range of tax and immigration charges against Paul and Emerson. To climax his speech to the jury, he announces that the two men are also being charged as accessories to murder.

Later, Tony calls a first witness. It's Jose Alvarez, the worker Paul tried to protect from Rudy Valentine. Jose lies that he saw Paul pay illegals with Emerson. Paul's outburst gets him roughed and cuffed, and Carol is arrested, too, when she rushes in to help. They're soon out, and while attempting to relax in a park discuss their days as student radicals "going over the barricades." Back in court, the next witness for the prosecution is -- guess who -- Emerson! He's copped a plea and is now the star witness against Paul. Paul is convicted, but remains free pending his appeal.

Paul confronts Emerson at the edge of the rough on the golf course at Emerson's club. Emerson tells him he had no choice but to turn, and offers Paul a few hundred dollars. Paul lets the money fall through his fingers to the ground and walks away from Emerson. Paul goes to Jose Alvarez's home, tries to convince him to recant his false testimony, but is unsuccessful because Jose knows Tony will take away his green card if he does.

Paul's lawyer, STEVE TUCKER, learns that Tony got the initial indictment against Paul by lying to the grand jury that Paul had confessed. He also tells Paul that Tony is up for appointment as United States Deputy Attorney General. Angered, Paul barges into Tony's office, confronts him, threatens to derail his appointment, and physically assaults him. He's about to bean Tony with Tony's own DiMaggio signature bat when a marshal comes in and restrains Paul. Tony lets Paul go free, but warns him, "You say one word, and I'll make you sorrier than O.J. Simpson." Rudy Valentine pays a visit on Paul, gun in hand, because Paul went to the reporters, anyway. He says if Paul keeps his mouth shut he might win the appeal.

As Paul and Carol distribute free food to the homeless on Venice Beach, Paul tells Carol that he's going to testify against Tony at Tony's confirmation hearings. Carol pleads with him to keep a low profile so his charges will be dropped. Paul compares testifying against Tony to going over the barricades against the war during the sixties.

On a desert highway, Navoarro and Gomez, smuggled cigars between them on the seat of their meat truck, are approached by the border patrol. In the following vehicular melee, three illegals being rounded up are run over and killed, but Navarro and Gomez escape. Later, their damaged truck is found in the desert with 12 illegals trapped in the back in the searing heat -- all dead and rotting. One of them is the younger brother of Jose Alvarez.

Paul sees a news broadcast describing the tragedy and hears that Navarro and Gomez have been arrested. The news switches to Vickie Lin outside a courthouse. Reporters and an angry mob try to get to Emerson as he is lead inside in handcuffs. Emerson, tied to the crime by the cigars, tells reporters he had nothing to do with the deaths.

Paul, ecstatic in spite of the deaths, tells Carol he thinks this means that Emerson will be charged with murder. Paul drives a minivan to pick up Jessie at church school, but a car rams the van. Paul goes back to confront the driver and finds Rudy Valentine, who threatens him for his plan to testify at Tony White's confirmation hearing. Paul tells him he's crazy, and Rudy shoves the door open to knock Paul down, then levels a shotgun at him. Paul kicks the door into Rudy, but Rudy's shotgun discharges. Pellets penetrate Paul's minivan and strike Jessie in the chest.

At the hospital, Paul talks to two detectives who tell him Rudy claims Paul assaulted him. Paul tells his story, but the detectives advise him not to file against Rudy.

At a downtown fruit market, Paul meets Jose Alvarez, who says he's been punished by his brother's death and he will testify truthfully in support of Paul at Tony's confirmation hearing. Rudy shows up, and Paul pushes Jose into the crowd so Rudy won't see him. Paul confronts Rudy and sarcastically offers to give him his daily itinerary. Jose slips into Paul's house and they make substitute plans. Trailed by Rudy Valentine and Ben Castillo, Paul boards a train for San Francisco, where Tony is to address a lawyer's convention. Paul disguises himself and slips off the train despite a police cordon looking for him.

Paul hooks up with Jose. Paul sneaks into the Crown Imperial Hotel disguised with a mustache as a Mexican waiter, while Jose waits in a getaway car. Paul is discovered by an assistant manager who chases him. Paul infiltrates the Crystal Room where SENATOR FLETCHER and MAYOR ONO preside over a banquet honoring Tony White with the "Golden Scales" Award. Paul slips the M.C. a package from the "Ladies Auxiliary," which the M.C. gives Tony. Tony opens it -- it's Jessie's bloody shirt.

Carol, who was seated with Steve Tucker, emerges from the crowd and calls Tony a murder. In the ensuing confusion, Paul, who looks like all the other waiters, slips out of the room, followed by Rudy. Rudy crawls after him through the hotel's ventilation ducts. He catches Paul and levels his gun to shoot, but Paul pushes Rudy down a vent shaft and he dies.

Paul escapes from the Crown Imperial. He meets Jose and tries to convince him to leave, since he also could be charged with the murder of Rudy. Jose refuses. Chased by police cars, they return to the Duvall Hotel, where they had registered. The police surround the hotel.

Vickie Lin confronts Tony White about the shooting of Jessie. Tony forces Carol Szabo to speak over a bullhorn to urge Paul to come out. A figure, dancing and waving a hat, appears on the edge of the roof. As all eyes watch the decoy, Paul sneaks up on Tony and forces him into an alley. Unseen by Tony, Vickie follows with a microphone and records Tony's admission of "dirty tricks." When Tony sees Vickie, he starts to attack Paul with a jagged piece of wood. At that point, Tony sees a cameraman taping and stops, but he's revealed.

Jose is captured on the roof of the hotel, and is charged with Rudy's murder. Paul's lawyer, Steve Tucker, urges Paul to walk away, but Paul refuses to turn his back on Jose. At Jose's trial, the hotel assistant manager who first discovered Paul is unable to identify Jose because three similar identically dressed Mexicans are seated with him. Paul and Jose take over Emerson's shoe factory and re-name it Los Amigos Shoes. As the Szabo and Alvarez families arrive at the factory, the workers cheer them.

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COMMENTS:

This is a well-paced and nicely structured story pivoting on loyalty -- in this case, to the wrong person for the wrong reasons with the resultant dramatic consequences. Paul is loyal to Emerson Vale, his childhood mentor and continuing patron. He has become dependent on Emerson because he needs a co-signer for a company buy-out. So he sticks with Emerson, who betrays him by testifying against him.

The story's turning point occurs when Emerson hands Paul a few dollars at the golf course -- after betraying him in court. Paul lets the money fall through his fingers to the ground in a decisive rejection of his dependence and misplaced loyalty toward Emerson. Paul is too depressed the next day to get out of bed. He sees only the hopeless external situation and still doesn't realize that the seed of his redemption is planted. With Carol's support, he now starts acting like a strong man and is able to direct his loyalty inward towards himself and his family.

The story builds from there as Paul conceives and executes a dangerous and difficult plant to achieve his dramatic objectives. The story builds excitement and tension as Rudy, Ben and Tony pursue Paul until the final deadly chase.

The characters are warm and vivid. Paul is presented as an honest and upstanding man who has a character flaw -- excess loyalty -- which is quite interesting in the way it springs from virtue. Despite being the factory's external CPA, the factory had its own bookkeeper, so that Paul was unaware that certain employees - the illegals - weren't listed on the company's payroll records. Paul has good chemistry with his wife Carol, and their sixties demonstrator back story provides some depth as well as the story's title -- back then they went "over the barricades."

Their radical remembrances also provide some of Paul's motivation to pursue truth and justice in spite of placing himself and his family in danger. Tony White is a good heavy -- not really evil, just self-interested and amoral. He and Rudy Valentine and Ben Castillo like to work Dirty Harry style -- beating suspects and lying in court -- but in their minds, they're just doing their job the way it has to be done in the real world, they aren't "dirty cops." When Paul threatens to derail Tony's appointment as United States Deputy Attorney General, it is easy for them to step over into actively persecuting and hurting Paul and his family.

The dialog is quite good. The Szabo family all speak with distinct voices -- Jessie's dialog brings her to life as a vividly real little charmer, and Paul's exchanges with her render him strongly identifiable and sympathetic. The police sound like police -- their language and manner rings authentic. The exchange between Emerson and Paul at the golf course after Emerson's betrayal of Paul is dramatic and compelling.

The settings are specific and relatively vivid, and visual interest is maintained by use of a wide range of attractive Los Angeles landmarks.

In summation, this is a good story which flows well because it is driven by the natural and believable motivation of warm three-dimensional characters. It has flaws, but most are matters of unintentional ethnic overtones. The dramatic core here is sound, good-hearted and compelling.